In my last coaching course, I learned that you should never ask someone “why?” You don’t ask why they did something, you don’t ask why they believe something, you don’t ask why they feel that way. People never know why. Asking why isn’t a useful question, because nobody has a real answer.

People do, of course, have reasons for their beliefs and behavior. If you ask the right questions, you can help them identify those reasons. But “why” isn’t the right question.